When Church Becomes Something We Shop For

There is nothing unusual about shopping around when we are buying something.

We compare restaurants.

We read reviews before choosing a hotel.

We look at features before buying a car.

We compare price, quality, convenience, atmosphere, and whether something fits our preferences.

That makes perfect sense when we are consumers.

But what happens when we bring the same mentality into church?

Which church has the music I like?

Which pastor preaches the way I prefer?

Which service fits my schedule?

Which congregation has people who look like me, think like me, dress like me, and approach life the way I do?

Eventually, without realizing it, we can stop asking:

Where is God calling me to belong?

And start asking:

Which church gives me the experience I want?

C.S. Lewis saw this danger decades ago.

C.S. Lewis and “Church Shopping”

In The Screwtape Letters, Lewis writes from the fictional perspective of a senior demon named Screwtape advising his nephew Wormwood on how to undermine a Christian’s faith.

In Letter XVI, Screwtape essentially says that if a Christian cannot be kept away from church completely, another useful strategy is to keep him moving between churches.

Why?

Because constantly visiting different congregations can transform someone from a pupil into a critic.

Instead of entering church asking:

What can God teach me here?

We begin asking:

How well did they perform for me today?

The sermon gets reviewed.

The worship gets rated.

The pastor gets compared.

The children’s ministry gets scored.

The congregation gets judged.

And before long, worship begins functioning like a product.

We become religious consumers.

From Pupil to Critic

There is a major difference between discernment and criticism.

Christians absolutely should exercise discernment.

Doctrine matters.

Leadership matters.

Character matters.

Accountability matters.

But discernment asks:

Is this faithful to Scripture?

Consumerism asks:

Did I like it?

Those are very different questions.

One is centered on truth.

The other is centered on preference.

The danger Lewis points toward is that constant church shopping trains us to evaluate rather than receive.

We sit through a sermon thinking about what the pastor should have said differently.

We compare the worship team to another church.

We notice that another congregation has better coffee.

Better lighting.

Better children’s programs.

More people our age.

A more impressive building.

A more charismatic pastor.

And slowly, without intending to, we begin approaching Sunday morning as customers.

But Jesus never called us to be customers of His Church.

He called us to become part of His body.

There Is No Perfect Church — But There Are Healthy Churches

This is an important distinction.

Saying there is no perfect church does not mean every church is healthy.

There are unhealthy churches.

There are churches with poor leadership.

There are churches where Scripture is mishandled.

There are churches where accountability is weak, manipulation is tolerated, or serious problems are ignored.

Those are real concerns, and Christians should not dismiss them in the name of “just sticking it out.”

At the same time, the fact that no church is perfect should not become an excuse to remain permanently unattached.

There are plenty of healthy churches.

Churches where Scripture is taught faithfully.

Where leaders are accountable.

Where Jesus is central.

Where people are encouraged to grow.

Where repentance, grace, service, prayer, and community are taken seriously.

A healthy church will still have flaws.

A healthy church will still have awkward moments.

A healthy church will still have disagreements.

Why?

Because wherever there are people, there will be problems.

That is not cynicism.

That is simply reality.

The question is not whether a church has problems.

The better question is:

How does that church handle its problems?

Does it respond with humility?

Does it pursue truth?

Does it correct wrongdoing?

Does it seek reconciliation?

Does it protect people?

Does it submit leadership to accountability?

A healthy church is not a church with no problems.

It is a church that handles problems in a healthy, biblical way.

Church Was Never Supposed to Be Built Around Your Preferences

Paul describes the Church this way:

“Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.”
— 1 Corinthians 12:27

Think about what that means.

A body is made up of different parts.

Hands.

Feet.

Eyes.

Ears.

Different functions.

Different strengths.

Different personalities.

And sometimes very different people.

That diversity is not an accident.

It is part of God’s design.

One of Lewis’s observations in Letter XVI is that Christian community brings together people who might not naturally choose one another.

That is important.

Because if we only worship with people exactly like ourselves, church can easily become an extension of our preferences rather than a place where God stretches us.

Sometimes the person sitting beside you is going to annoy you.

Sometimes another believer is going to see something differently than you.

Sometimes the music will not be your favorite.

Sometimes the sermon will challenge you rather than comfort you.

Sometimes church will require patience.

Grace.

Forgiveness.

Humility.

And maybe that is part of the point.

Christianity Was Never Meant to Be Customized

Modern life allows us to customize nearly everything.

Our playlists.

Our news feeds.

Our entertainment.

Our social media.

Our food.

Our shopping.

Algorithms increasingly show us exactly what we already like.

So naturally, we can begin expecting church to function the same way.

Give me my preferred worship style.

My preferred preaching style.

My preferred demographic.

My preferred dress code.

My preferred service length.

My preferred atmosphere.

But Christianity does not exist to reinforce every preference we already have.

Sometimes following Jesus means being challenged.

Sometimes discipleship requires staying somewhere long enough for relationships to become difficult.

Because that is when concepts like forgiveness, patience, humility, and grace stop being ideas and start becoming practices.

The Problem With Always Looking for Something Better

There is always another church.

Another pastor.

Another sermon.

Another worship team.

Another program.

Another congregation.

And if we approach church primarily as consumers, there will always be something somewhere that appears better.

That mindset can create permanent dissatisfaction.

You begin attending one church.

Everything feels exciting.

Then eventually you notice imperfections.

The pastor says something you disagree with.

Someone disappoints you.

Leadership makes a decision you would not have made.

The music changes.

A program gets canceled.

Someone fails to greet you.

And suddenly another church starts looking more attractive.

Then the cycle repeats.

The problem may not always be the church.

Sometimes the problem is the expectation that a church should continually satisfy us.

No congregation can survive that standard.

Because again:

Wherever there are people, there will be problems.

The Church is made up of redeemed people who are still being transformed.

That means there will be misunderstandings.

Personality conflicts.

Bad days.

Mistakes.

Immaturity.

And opportunities for grace.

Belonging Requires Staying Long Enough to Be Known

You cannot experience deep Christian community if you are always standing near the exit.

Real relationships take time.

Trust takes time.

Serving takes time.

Being known takes time.

There is a difference between attending a church and belonging to one.

Belonging means people know your name.

They know when something is wrong.

They celebrate when something good happens.

You serve beside them.

You pray for them.

They pray for you.

You carry burdens together.

You forgive each other.

You grow together.

You cannot experience most of the New Testament’s “one another” commands from a permanent visitor’s seat.

At some point, we have to stop sampling community and begin participating in it.

Find a Healthy Church, Not a Perfect One

It is wise to ask questions when choosing a church.

Is Scripture taught faithfully?

Is Jesus at the center?

Are leaders accountable?

Is there evidence of spiritual maturity?

Are people being discipled?

Are children protected?

Does the church handle money responsibly?

Does it serve people rather than simply build a brand?

Does it demonstrate both truth and grace?

Those questions matter.

But once we have found a genuinely healthy church, we should be careful not to leave simply because another one has better production, better music, better aesthetics, or more people who resemble us.

Sometimes the most spiritually formative church for you may not be the one that perfectly fits your taste.

It may be the one where you are challenged to love people you would not have chosen for yourself.

Church Is a Family, Not a Product

Families are inconvenient.

They interrupt schedules.

They disagree.

They require forgiveness.

They know our weaknesses.

And yet family is also where some of life’s deepest relationships are formed.

The New Testament repeatedly describes Christians with family language.

Brothers.

Sisters.

Children of God.

Members of one household.

That is very different from the language of customers and businesses.

You do not leave a healthy family every time someone irritates you.

You work through things.

You communicate.

You forgive.

You grow.

Of course there are situations where leaving a church is appropriate.

But boredom is not abuse.

Preference is not false teaching.

Disagreement is not necessarily dysfunction.

And inconvenience is not automatically a sign that God is calling us somewhere else.

Maybe the Question Needs to Change

Instead of asking:

What am I getting from this church?

Maybe we should sometimes ask:

What am I contributing to this church?

Who am I encouraging?

Who am I serving?

Whose burden am I carrying?

Who am I praying for?

Where am I using the gifts God gave me?

Am I helping make this community healthier?

Consumer Christianity asks:

What can this church do for me?

Biblical community also asks:

How can I help build up the body of Christ?

That shift changes everything.

Don’t Become a Connoisseur of Churches

There is something sobering about Lewis’s warning.

A connoisseur knows how to compare.

How to critique.

How to rank.

How to explain why one experience is superior to another.

But the Christian life is not about becoming an expert critic of churches.

It is about becoming more like Christ.

Sometimes that transformation happens through excellent preaching.

Sometimes through worship.

Sometimes through serving.

And sometimes it happens when someone in your church frustrates you and you have to learn patience.

Sometimes growth happens because you stay.

Because you forgive.

Because you listen.

Because you stop demanding that everyone become more like you and begin asking God to make you more like Jesus.

The Goal Is Not to Settle for an Unhealthy Church

None of this means ignoring serious problems.

If a church is spiritually abusive, deceptive, unsafe, doctrinally unfaithful, or unwilling to address serious wrongdoing, leaving may be necessary.

There is wisdom in seeking healthy leadership and sound teaching.

The goal is not:

Stay anywhere no matter what.

The goal is:

Do not confuse imperfection with unhealthiness.

There is no perfect church.

But there are many healthy ones.

And when you find one, give yourself permission to belong before you begin looking for reasons to leave.

Final Thought

The Church is not a product we consume.

It is a body we belong to.

It is a family we participate in.

It is a community in which God often uses imperfect people to shape other imperfect people.

You will eventually find something wrong with every congregation.

And every congregation will eventually find something wrong with you.

That is what happens when people gather.

But grace gives us another possibility.

Instead of constantly looking for the perfect church, we can look for a healthy one.

Then show up.

Serve.

Listen.

Forgive.

Grow.

Love people who are different from us.

And stay long enough to discover that sometimes the very imperfections we wanted to escape are the places God uses to teach us how to become more like Christ.

Reflection Questions

Have you ever evaluated church primarily according to your personal preferences?

What is the difference between a genuine biblical concern and simply not liking something?

Are you currently looking for a perfect church—or a healthy one?

When problems arise, do you immediately withdraw, or are you willing to pursue healthy communication and reconciliation?

Are you actively contributing to your church community, or mostly evaluating what it provides for you?

Is there someone in your church whom God may be using to teach you patience, humility, forgiveness, or grace?

Closing Prayer

Father, thank You for giving us the Church. Protect me from treating Your people like a product to be evaluated according to my preferences. Give me discernment to recognize healthy churches and wisdom to recognize genuine problems, but also give me humility to accept that no congregation will be perfect. Teach me to love people who are different from me, to forgive when relationships become difficult, and to contribute rather than simply consume. Help me find a healthy community where I can belong, serve, grow, and become more like Christ. In Jesus’ name, Amen.